Some of the best lessons I’ve learned have been through some of the hardest losses, deepest wounding’s and greatest mistakes of my life. I know I’m not alone here.
Would I make those mistakes or want to go through those experiences over again? Please NO! Yet, this is how life continues bringing us through so many unique experiences. Some, we think we will never recover from. Our life has so profoundly changed from some; that it shakes the very core of our being.
This time of isolation through The Covid virus brought this to the surface like a huge, all engulfing wave! This extroverted lady had some weeks in there that felt a little bonkers! And many who reached out for certainty, peace and answers, felt just like me!
Who wants to accept the “new norm”? Not me! The world has changed, and all the things that have been problems for years, have been amplified. And with that amplification, I believe we have the greatest opportunities for change! Initially it was so hard to look at… to hear. But I’m now in a place that I can look on without the dread that surfaced for me several times throughout sheltering in. I stopped resisting. I stopped wishing things could go back to the way they were. I came to a place of acceptance.
I wanted to see if one of the struggles I’ve had in the midst of these times of sorrow, anger, shame, resentment or grief, resonated with anyone?
I want to talk about resistance.
What I mean by that is, resistance to what is…and what is not.🤔 It’s part of the grief process that for me, feels like I’ve had the hardest time moving through. (And of course part of that is completely normal!)
That place of acceptance. That place of surrender. Trusting God with all the outcomes! Many times I’ve prolonged my agony for wishing for the old. Or trying to strain on into the future, looking for answers. I’ve wished for a situation, a person, or circumstance to change for my benefit. For their benefit! For my comfort. In my search of that comfort, I find myself way more frustrated than comforted!
This year hasn’t been what ANY of us expected! I know I was so pumped about 2020, that when things went south, I spent a couple months in deep disappointment. Just when you think, “Oh! I’ve gotten myself in a great place! I feel like a racehorse out of the gates! This will be the best year EVer!”
And then…”Oh my! Um. Back to the bench. (WITHout face to face, in-person interaction!) This is when I’m having a lot of conversations with myself. Out loud.
This kind of feeling for me was not new! Though this time, there were differences. When I started asking God what this time was for? Who it was for? Where I could find His goodness? And how He wanted me to show up…My eyes clearly saw ways to love on myself. (I’ve gotten a grip on the baking and backed off though!😂😂) When we are kind and compassionate and grateful to ourselves, disappointment and frustration dissipate.
To serve and love on others and bring meaning, peace and understanding, to the struggles or goals they had.
I stopped resisting by accepting what is…and what was. The surrender came more quickly!
As we ride out the challenges of life, I’m inclined to look for the lesson. Look for the good. Speak and declare the good. Live good. Live love. Live grace. Live mercy. Honor those I’ve lost by living what they taught me. Looking for the lesson and the good, wins our heart over to internal joy! Romans 15:13
This has taken me years to receive into my spirit. (Read more about this in my book, The Faces of Pain.) https://amzn.to/32MVAnT
Years of reminding myself I’m not in control….
Years of frustration….
Years of resistance….
How about you? What do you struggle with accepting. Is there something you are strongly resisting? (maybe you’re still grieving…that’s O.K.!!)
I’d love to hear from you! Don’t worry, I won’t talk you out of your feelings! That’s about useless as the day is long, and hardly honoring!
16 So now we come freely and boldly to where love is enthroned, to receive mercy’s kiss and discover the grace we urgently need to strengthen us in our time of weakness Heb.4:16 TPT.
I pray strength and grace over each dear one out there!
