Today I feel like writing about something near and dear to my heart…recovery.
You know, we are all recovering from something, right? When we look at the word recovery, it means different things to different people, but in fact, it’s something every person should be able to say they can relate to on some level. (you may want to tuck that in if you can’t) We hear things in the news about someone going into rehab or recovering from an overdose and we are saddened for that person. We hope they will find health, healing and wholeness. We pray for them. And sometimes when they don’t recover, we grieve their loss.
Every day people are recovering from something. The loss of a loved one, a temporary or permanent diagnosis, an overindulgent appetite for food, drugs and alcohol, co-dependency, the loss of innocence or safety from an abusive upbringing, a failed marriage, the loss of work, home or a dear friendship…..the list goes on and on.
As defined in the dictionary, recovery means, “the regaining of, or possibility, of regaining something that’s been lost or taken away” or another definition, “restoration or return to any former and better state or condition.”
As I consider these definitions, I think it’s no wonder, that a lot of recovery methods don’t work as well as they could. Do we really want to aim for recovery of what was good, perfect or right about life prior to __________ You fill in the blank?
As we walk through recovery would it really serve us well to want something back that we couldn’t have or maybe shouldn’t have? That would leave us in a perpetual state of hunger, longing, disappointment and sorrow. And that to me, is what leads us back to that place of rinse and repeat. A place where we are unable to leave ourselves open to healing through. We keep trying to wash off that which entangles and snares us. And in our own will, it can’t be done.
I am amazed by the NTSB. Their job is to go out to a plane crash and recover the pieces of the aircraft. They reassemble the pieces, they recover the “black box” (the recorder that contains the voice and flight data) they interview any survivors, to do a thorough investigation of the events leading up to the crash. They see the loss. Count the cost in every way. They examine gnarled pieces of metal and put the peices of the puzzle together. They do this to mitigate future loss and damage. They know they can’t put this airliner back together, they can’t bring lost lives back. They don’t stay stuck there, they can’t. They collectively put their expertise together and collaboratively work towards answers and creating a plan for next time. Because there is always a next time.
When it comes to recovery and restoration we need a team of people who are there for us. To listen, to help us to answer some of the questions. Surrounding us, to help mitigate further damage to you and our people.
What does that team look like?
People who have been there, and done that, and are on the other side of it, to encourage us.
Friends who support us in our worst times-maybe they can’t relate but they are there… just to be beside us, pray for you, and help with practical things that we might not be able to do for a while. They remind us of who we are. They remind us that we will get through this, in time.
A community who doesn’t avoid tackling the messiness, the tough questions, the mistakes that happened before, as well as in the aftermath. They take the time to hear you process those things so that you can begin to build trust, dignity, safety and authentic relationships. A community where grace resides and assumption and judgement go to their rightful place. A place where truth in time comes. People learn by emulation. That happens when we demonstrate God’s love, mercy and healing so that we can pass that on. They encourage us to come out of isolation. Simple truth; we cannot grow or heal on our own. We weren’t designed that way. God designed us to be in relationship.
It’s sometimes hard to come out of isolation. It feels like a safe place. But, if there is one thing you do today, start to move into community, you are stepping into recovery. Can you imagine if you were to stay in that place processing the pain with yourself in isolation? All kinds a crazy is gonna go down! And, of course, the enemy will be there rehearsing words of discouragement and death over you and your circumstances.
Get a good doctor if don’t already have one! You need to make sure that you are physically healing over time. Hurts come and go and your body really takes a beating. Hormones stagger out of place, lost sleep takes its toll, and physical pain starts to crowd out wellness and vitality.
Get a couple prayer partners. These are a couple of people that you don’t have to tell the whole story to. They just love to pray. It forms a shield around you, and you get to experience the peace and comfort that comes from knowing there are people interceding for you!
Take care of yourself tenderly. Give grace and compassion to yourself! Tune your ear to God. He wants to speak to you in this time. You may be mad at Him-He knows all your thoughts so let him know how you feel. Get good rest. Eat good food and nurture yourself with music and nature. I really can’t say enough about music and how healing it is. It could be Classical, Christian, Country or “drop the beat” kind of tunes that get you up and out of your chair to move, exercise or just dance. If you don’t know where to start, ask a friend, “What kind of music do you listen to when….” Can I get a witness for how music can change your whole spirit and outlook in one song?!
Get a counselor or coach…join a processing group. We need the objective perspective and direction from someone who actually doesn’t mind hearing you say the same thing, ten times over. There is no shame in seeking counsel! This person learns about you and how you think and feel. What’s happened in the past that might contribute to the now. Someone who doesn’t expect you to move too fast. One who knows the importance of grieving and what happens when you don’t. Someone who’s heart is to see you learn how to trust, bond and grow. Someone who won’t let you stay stuck. One who will to have you feel seen, heard and valued. Someone who will help you to believe and begin again.
I’m a woman with rock solid faith. And then….I’m also human, that faith goes on the waver every now and then. Even the disciples had to be shown over and over and OVER! Things happen…..sometimes there’s a crash. Each time that happens, I reach out to my team. I ask questions, seek wisdom, and ask for prayer. Sometimes I don’t always know what I need. But I know I need my team! One of the most precious things I see on Facebook is when people share about their team, their posse, their people! They need to know how vital they are in your life!
Talk to me about your people!! Tell me about your plan.
If you need help growing your team, give me a call! I’m happy to show you healthy ways to connect with a good one!
kim@fosterslifecoaching.com
